Grief can result from a loss, whether large or small, and may not be easily removed once it takes hold. Due to the stubborn nature of pain, many approaches have been developed to manage the repressive and often painful effects it can have on people's lives. One such approach is Elizabeth Kübler-Ross' theory, The Five Stages of Grief. In the essay “The Wrong Way” Sierra Skye Gemma juxtaposes her own personal experiences of pain against the Kübler-Ross hypothesis. Gemma uses her confessional, combined with empirical evidence that contradicts the Five Stages of Grief, to demonstrate that feelings of grief are unique to the individual; therefore, there is no right way to cry. Based on the information revealed in her essay, Gemma was quite familiar with the loss. The list includes his father, sister, pet frog, cat (temporarily), first marriage, grandmother and grandfather. However, she does not claim to be an expert (16) despite her many experiences. Instead, he criticizes supposed experts by stating that “you can be an expert on pain without having suffered at all. As long as you've seen enough people do it, you're good” (18). The reason for his censorship may stem from the fact that it is impossible to measure the ability to feel an emotion. Gemma also implies that research conducted by supposed experts is based on assumptions about human behavior and pain (16). Therefore, any conclusions drawn from the data collected by such researchers are invalid. The main focus of Gemma's criticism lies in the widely accepted Five Stages of Grief theory. The first incarnation of Elizabeth Kübler-Ross's 1969 hypothesis stated that grieving individuals go through denial, anger, bargaining, and depression... middle of paper... the right thing to do'” (22 ). Deciding whether grief is a feeling rather than a process or ability changes how people experience loss. If grief is just a series of stages, then people who have not reached the “acceptance” stage may have unresolved issues in the future. If, however, grief is simply a feeling, then there is no superior time frame or method for dealing with a loss. For Kübler-Ross, his way of managing pain might have required a clearly defined process. In contrast, the way or level in which Gemma cried depended on the loss as an individual case. Human behavior contains too many variables to definitively determine which way of grieving is “natural” or “normal.” What can be gleaned from “The Wrong Way,” however, is that people develop their own method of coping, rather than conforming to someone else's, and still find acceptance.