I first had a broken relationship with a freshman in college, Jaysen. We went back and forth for months when I finally broke off the relationship and started dating another guy. Months passed and I never heard from him. I thought maybe the distance would be good for us and that one day we would find our way again. One day April 4th arrived. I had just gotten off work and he called me. When I answered the phone he was sobbing. He told me that he had been depressed for a while and had attempted suicide twice during this time. He told me that now that he had talked to me he knew he could do it. At this point I was in total disbelief and didn't know what to say to him. Then he told me it was my fault, but he loved me and then hung up on me. A few minutes later he shot himself in the mouth with a rifle. I carried the weight of the world on my shoulders for days. I had never felt so guilty in my entire life and on top of that I suffered from PTSD. Because I was so depressed about dealing with Jaysen's death, my boyfriend at the time broke up with me because he was too sad and my friends stopped talking to me because they didn't know what to do