In other words she missed him a lot, the fact that she would meet him at least once, shows that she remains faithful to him, adores him and wants to be with her childhood lover. As far as I'm concerned, according to the poem, this shows how depressed the person speaking is, her husband hasn't been with her for a while and she misses him a lot. Well, she was very young when she got married, and she had a lot to learn, plus when she was sixteen and her husband went to work as a River Merchant, which made her life even more difficult, because she was growing up alone and had to do all alone. The poem is very nostalgic and gives the reader an idea of ​​the speaker's feelings. She likes to connect monkeys and butterflies to the world, because it makes the letter even more beautiful