So you decided to visit Earth. Booklet with 10 simple rules to help you survive in the world of this emerging hostile species, paid for by the Galactic Confederation. Rule number 1: eavesdrop, eavesdrop, eavesdrop. The way to understand the human mind is to spend time reviewing their broadcasts. Remarkably not shy and very sociable, they have been broadcasting their audio and video entertainment for decades much to the annoyance of other nearby and less talkative species, who become annoyed by this constant racket. However, spend some time watching their broadcasts, which seem to focus on both their tendency towards violence and their obsession with mating, and you will soon become a complete expert on the psychology of this rather eccentric yet expressive primate. You may feel uncomfortable while viewing the countless images of battles with alien species or find them bigoted since most extraterrestrials are shown as humans with a head deformity, but this is crucial to understanding what you might expect if you visit their world. Despite the preponderance of evidence to the contrary, what is shown in their broadcasts is what they believe is reality. Rule number 2: Humans are aggressive. From its humble origins, this highly aggressive ape species has a propensity for paranoid and belligerent behavior and has a great ability to create deadly weapons to facilitate it. From their first instruments of death made of wood and stone they have progressed to nuclear devices capable of destroying their entire civilization in a short space of time. Their reasons for using these tools, which could easily lead to their extinction, vary greatly. However the most common themes of this almost are......middle of the paper......eas) Things to Avoid Saying 1.) "Take me to your leader" (who will take you to the dissecting table) 2 .) “I come in peace” (This is human because I will exterminate you.) 3.) “Do you want some beads and trinkets?” (Although it is a friendly gesture, they do not respond well.)4 .) ““Do you mind if I put my flag here?” (A flag in your hand is as good as a target.) 5.) “Do you want to see my probe collection?” (Are you trying to die?) 6.) “I'm exploring a site on our new colony.” (Nice to meet you.) Rule number 10: Oh no! I was hooked! So you're sitting in a holding cell in Area 51 waiting for the dissecting table. You may also find a way to contact the Galactic Confederation for help. Don't worry, we've been through this tough situation many times and know what works best. When we receive your request for help, we will immediately feel very sad and will mourn you for many years to come.