TITLEKatherine DourianD Period EnglishSalinger suggests that feelings of entrapment accompany the transition to adulthood and that becoming mature means letting go of childhood self-perceptions. Holden fantasizes about preserving the innocence of youth like the catcher in the rye, where he can be both a child and an adult. “Cars whizzed by, brakes squealed everywhere, his parents paid him no attention, and he kept walking beside the sidewalk and singing 'if a body catches a body going through the rye.' It made me feel better. It didn't make me feel so depressed anymore." (Chapter 16). From time to time, Holden mentions how "depressed" he feels, but this moment sheds light on this internal conflict in interesting ways. Because the innocent, joyful boy is in stark contrast to the cars and disdainful parents, we realize that there is, in fact, something that makes Holden happy. He sees himself in young people and this reminds him of simpler times. The fact that he realizes the boy's naivety and appreciates it also gives the reader the feeling that he is mature, but his vision of what he wants to be when he is older complicates the issue. “Anyway, I keep imagining all these kids playing in this big rye field and everything… what I have to do, I have to catch everyone if they start falling off the cliff… I know it's crazy.” (Chapter 22). As the oldest in the camp, Holden recognizes that he is not like the other children: he has already fallen off the cliff. Comparing adolescence to falling off a cliff, Holden in his fantasy shows that he fears adulthood because it brings with it uncertainty and pain. Holden, as we see, is caught in the transition between the joys of childhood and the expectations of adulthood... middle of paper... someone would cover me as soon as I landed." (Page 104). Throughout the text, Holden is balanced between life and death, contemplating suicide as a means to escape the pain of the experience. After Holden experiences humiliation and physical pain at the hands of Maurice, he directly expresses the desire to commit suicide in this interaction between physical and emotional pain coincides with a void of spirituality which he expresses during an anecdote about the falsehood of the apostles of Jesus, where we learn that Holden considers himself an atheist and aligns himself with Judas, the betrayer of Christ. The congruence of these three pains shows that Holden seeks forgiveness for his guilt in outliving his brother. As a result, Holden is unable to find meaning in life except through grief, and this keeps him trapped from moving beyond Allie's death to focus on creation. of himself as a man..